One of the first things people ask when they’re adopting a new cat is whether or not the cat is a lap cat. The truth is that many adult cats are uncomfortable seeking out laps for a variety of reasons, but it’s important to know that we can help our feline friends feel safe enough to seek out and enjoy being close to us, even if they’ve had unpleasant experiences that have taught them otherwise.

  • Find out what motivates your cat. Do they love Churu-style treats? Save those for when you’d like to work on some training with your cat. A high-value food motivator can be whatever your cat loves most, but it’s best to save those for training times.
  • If your cat approaches, and you have the time, work in small steps to encourage your cat to come closer, eventually using that treat to encourage them into your lap.
  • If they choose to stay, continue offering the treat, petting gently in the “safe zones” of the face and cheeks as long as they remain relaxed in your lap. Don’t push! Allow them to choose where they want to be.
  • Be consistent. Continue working with treats and gentle, mindful handling until your cat is consistently seeking lap time. You can eventually fade out the food motivator when they’re seeking this interaction consistently and seem content with gentle pets and your warm lap.
  • Pay attention to your cat’s body language. We should allow them to move away when they choose to. Never force your cat to be close to you if they’re asking to move away!
  • Avoid too many pets. It’s all too common for us to stop paying attention to the cat in our lap as we watch our favorite show… Overstimulation can happen at any time; it’s very easy to miss the signs if we’re not paying attention.

This can take time, and some cats just aren’t going to love being in your lap, but more often than not, you can train them to want to be close, even if the lap isn’t exactly where they want to be.